Occupy An Oven You Dweeb

Liberal Eggman Knows The #Truth

Okay, something has been burning on my mind since about 2011 when Occupy Wall Street started telling the world that they were getting robbed by BANKSTERS.

It’s this zero-sum notion that if Wall Street is surging, it can only mean that poor dindus ain’t gettin nuff money for dem programs and grandma’s 401K got looted.

It’s wrong.
It’s retarded.

If they had taken the difference between an iPod/iPhone/iPad and its “I don’t need gadgets to status signal” competitor and put that money into Apple stock since 2001 that $2,000 would be like $160,000 right now, plus you’d have pulled about $1,500 in dividends checks. So fuck off you with your high time preference faggotry and stop bitching that the world is fucked up because you’re too stupid to make investment decisions instead of consumer decisions. If you bought any console game system of the last two generation during its first 4 years on the market or know the names of at least 5 AAA game titles to come out in the last two years and you’re bitching about Wall Street ruining your life, I want you to take all your shit to a pawn shop, trade it for a shotgun and a box of shells, walk out front and BLOW YOUR OWN FUCKING HEAD OFF.

Nigga We iPhone Now
Wall Street isn’t robbing the hood, high time preference is.
The Wall Street game is fucking cheaper than an annual WoW subscription and I guarantee if you have something against Wall Street making money you have put more money into your entertainment center than you have into your IRA by several orders of magnitude. Financial markets are open to anybody who can come up with $100 to open a brokerage account at whatever bank you want. Virtually every public “Big X” corporation out there has a significant number of mutual funds bought into their stock, which means the ownership of the company is actually pretty fucking democratically distributed. The people peddling this “you shouldn’t be poor because Wall Street is surging” bullshit make me want to go Falling Down on their asses with a 12 gauge.

If you’ve got 3 pairs of Air Jordans and a flat screen I don’t want to hear you blowing air out of that sideways cunt on your face about “the game being rigged”. I watched every movie and TV show between 2007-2011 on a fucking 23″ screen while my friends ridiculed me for not having a big screen like FUCKING EVERYBODY. Just so I could max out my annual IRA contributions and sock $5K/year into strong tech stocks and mutual funds. Meanwhile I was eating ramen and watching my net worth grow on a computer monitor that was also my TV which was conveniently close to my bed which was also my couch because I didn’t spend a dime on anything that wasn’t abso-fucking-lutely critical to getting money or pussy.

I saw it on DailyKOS
Wall Street’s not the problem, you are.
You made your fucking bed, lie in it motherfucker. Stop telling people they’re poor because Wall Street’s rich. If you had actually put some skin in the game you’d be up 400% since 2008 too. Jesus Christ, fuck this entire generation and anyone who enables them.

Godwin out, assholes.

Author image
Duke Godwin is the ghost of an accountant who wrote a check for the Reichskanzlei's utility bill in 1931 and was executed by Mossad at the age of 96 for aiding the Nazi's
Hell, Michigan