Coming In

The media has whipped out the “Coming Out” script again today as Ellen Page has announced her mass friendzoning of every single one of her fanboys. The standard #sobrave articles will circulate the web for a few days and the Westborough Baptist Church will tweet that she is a hellbound fag and in a week this will all be forgotten. Rinse and Repeat.

Hipster Barbie will never carry your neckbeard spawn
Hipster Barbie will never carry your neckbeard spawn
Does anybody still believe it is difficult to come out in Hollywood? Page’s coming out was announced at the TRIVE Conference, an annual conference held by the Human Rights campaign. From their website:

“As the largest civil rights organization working to achieve equality for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Americans, the Human Rights Campaign represents a force of more than 1.5 million members and supporters nationwide — all committed to making HRC’s vision a reality.”

This is basically SWPL mega church. You no longer have to convert to Judaism to get ahead in the entertainment industry. Gay is not just the new black. Page claimed in her speech that she “maybe can make a difference” in the lives of millions gay kids who are under imminent threat of getting the Matthew Shepard treatment. (oh wait)

He's not coming back though.
He’s not coming back though.
The irony is nothing will change. Since the death of Gay Jesus we have faced an unending wave of tolerance legislation and propaganda. After coming out as a “pro choice feminist,” which is more or less the plumb line female opinion on everything, she must have realized that there is a better way to get attention.

Of course we all have to pretend this is an act of heroism on the part of any celebrity. Being a lesbian isn’t much of a challenge unless you’re some cow ugly bull dyke. The worst thing that will happen to Ellen Page is all of the aforementioned fanboys will write some homoerotic fanfic, as if they weren’t already doing it. What does a celebrity stand to lose when they join the ranks of the dominant demographic in the media? I’m sure there isn’t too much to be lost in the Russian market. Compare that to what you have to gain and coming out seems like a good career move. Gay is the new Boys Club in entertainment. The current oppression/privilege gerrymandering will only become more interesting once someone grows enough balls to have them chopped off. Until then we will have to tolerate some girl on girl acceptance speech make outs. Such edge.