The trivial hobbies of bored white people

white-peson-owsThe Caucasian ethnic group has long amused itself with creative story telling, a habit forever immortalized by the countless religions, epics, novels and plays put down to paper by creative light skinned humans over the years. The art of the narrative is so ingrained in white culture that virtually any situation, no matter how trivial, becomes a riveting drama in the hands of whites. (Try turning on the television, for example.)

Formerly the white man was emotionally invested in his various Abrahamic religions and pursued all manner of heroic, imminently entertaining conflicts in the name of self validation in the face of God. Unfortunately this show was cancelled because a handful of frumpy atheists thought it was too violent for young audiences. Thankfully, another story had been put down to paper long before the death of God: This one was called “The Struggle Against Tyranny” and it found a very large audience. But after a couple centuries or so of defeating all the Evil Bad Guys, this tale had begun to grow rather stale. After all, one could not very well rail against tyrannical despots while living comfortably in a Democracy™ where the individual himself was theoretically responsible for public policy in some fashion or other. The fact that Democracy™, cast as the most moral system of government ever devised, played the role of hero in the story of The Struggle Against Tyranny further complicated matters.

And so, adrift without either the comforting authority of fire and brimstone religions, or the captivating struggle of man versus totalitarianism, the restless Caucasian imagination searched for another imaginary story out of which to weave a compelling narrative. In the latter half of the 20th century a new evolution in white play acting at last presented itself: The oppression/privilege dynamic and systemic racism. Here the creative white person could find all he needed to craft amazing side plots containing whitey’s favorite cast of heroes, villains and repetitive plot gimmicks. We whites could once again have our Christ figures, our Original Sin, our Catholic Guilt, our struggle against oppression, our kind-hearted redemption of the unworthy. The liberal premise that somehow whites are sinfully oppressing minorities and engaging in systemic racism is simply a gold mine for resurrecting whitey’s favorite fables into one timely presentation.


The narrative goes like this: Whites are guilty of an Original Sin of Racism, which according to many pundits, is simply hardwired into us at an unconscious level. This satisfies the white need for a Catholic form of guilt and gives us all a veritable “cross” to carry. (Gasoline and matches optional.) With this burden of the intrinsic Sin of Racism, we whites have girded our loins with the comforting, self validating notion that we are all equally guilty of a unique crime that no one else can experience. Blacks cannot be racist, since racism is privilege and power, and they have neither. Only us tragically flawed whites are capable of such a travesty.

Like any good post-Christian belief system, repentance and consciousness of one’s fallen state is a necessary prerequisite for entrance into Secular Humanist Heaven. Those who do not acknowledge their sinful white privilege are unworthy heretics, or even worse, Satanic “white supremacists.” To even discuss racial topics has literally become a taboo subject for the modern progressive white, lest one’s faith be tested. Even admitting to using the word “nigger” can get one fired from a job, ostracized or ruin one’s reputation. In the present historical context, this amounts to blatant zealotry and witch hunting. Of course the non-religious white progressives aren’t even cognizant of the hilariously obvious parallel between their thinking and that of the fabled Puritan witch-hunters of old. (Given the actual ancestry and cultural heritage of the most zealous white progressives in the United States, this parallel thinking should come as no surprise.)

Fortunately enough though, the story of oppression is finally growing rather threadbare and tiresome to modern audiences. The entire narrative is nothing more than a White Luxury, sure to be dropped like yesterday’s skeet rag when a truly legitimate crisis appears. The factual reality progressives don’t wish to confront goes like this; the civil rights movement is over, the dragons have been slain, white supremacists aren’t secretly running the government, “systemic racism” has been dissolved, and the culture at large frowns on racial prejudice. The attempts to build martyrs out of increasingly improbable characters like Trayvon Martin are falling on a cynically uninterested audience bored with the played out story-line. It’s pretty hard to claim that racism is still a legitimate social issue when people like Paula Deen lose entire careers simply for confessing to the use of the “N-word” decades previously. The attempt by progressives to claim this somehow “proves racism is still a problem” has effectively turned their charade into a grand comedy. The very notion that without zealous pursuit of the Liberal Holy War the heretics and unclean will put on KKK robes and go straight back to lynching blacks is so laughably ridiculous that even other entitled whites are becoming increasingly skeptical of it. And why shouldn’t they be? The chief priests of this new religious sect tend to be college educated liberals living in lily white suburbs and gated communities.

The greatest amusement will be watching the frustration of progressives realizing their Puritanical message of repenting one’s white privilege is falling on deaf ears, just as previous religions have found their own powers of persuasion ebbing away.