The TRS Guide to SWPL Safaris.

We here at TRS understand that as a compassionate liberal socialite, real-world demonstrations of your benevolence can be later used as ironclad proofs establishing your superior moral preferences. Fortunately enough, in this high tech world actual video and photographic verification of your Unlocked Achievements in social awareness can be immediately uploaded to your Facebook page for all your jealous  liberal friends to agonize over. Bear in mind that when going on these exotic adventures among African wild-life, your safety is the first priority, and the objective is to promote the over-all narrative, not accidentally end up as a popular story of naive liberal stupidity on With that in mind, we present to you several essential tips to make your next SWPL Safari a success, and not just a crime statistic:

You’ll be sorry, alright.

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Shanesha Taylor draws attention to high-time preference behavior in black community


TL/DR for our readers:

shanesha>Shanesha interviews for a job.
>Leaves children in car for interview.
>Gets arrested for endangerment.
>Teary eyed mug shot creates opportunity for social signalling.
>White Guilt donates close to $100,000 dollars.
>Prosecutor will not pursue jail time if she puts some of the money aside for the children.
>”Lol what money?”

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To save narrative, left unwittingly takes Scalia in its collective mouth

Scalia, smirking as left unknowingly gobbles his knob
Scalia, smirking as left unknowingly gobbles his knob

Known for their insistence on rushing to judgment, liberals are now laying the narrative to delegitimize the pending inevitable no true bill from the Darren Wilson grand jury. (No true bill = no indictment = no scarin’ the Darren) When liberal dindu narratives fail due to whitey’s western judicial process, the common 1st and 10 playcall is usually to blame the prosecutor, and it looks like they’re sticking to the script. 

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Having A Tight Rack Isn’t A Feminist Victory

Keira Knightley recently posed topless for Interview magazine (almost as NSFW as TRS). Apparently, being paid for looking good and having a generally fappable figure is some kind of “protest against Photoshop,” because software that can edit images is like, cisheteroprivileged and stuff.

You know who else edited pictures. Adolf Hitler. So check your privilege, shitlord.

Liberals all across the tumblrsphere, by which I mean the entire goddamned Internet these days, are falling all over themselves to tell her how brave and beautiful she is. Because in the feverish nightmare world of liberal reefer dreams, a 29-year-old who skipped college because she was hot enough to choke $50 million out of the male sex drive is like, oppressed and stuff.

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Open the prisons now, we’re just too fucking stupid for our own good.

Hey libertarians i violated your stupid NAP right out the gate, how do you like that dumbass?

1L’s (noob law students) have a lot of delusions:

  1. They will land a job (not as a barista)
  2. Making 120K a year in biglaw where they will
  3. Pay off the student loans quickly and
  4. Land a trophy wife who will blow you every day when you get home in your
  5. Newly paid for Jaguar.
  6. Prisons are for rehabilitation.

Want the reality? Check the end of the post for answers. But for now, we press on to two circuses of autistic delusion that come to the same conclusion: prison is bad and you should feel bad.

Against the Criminal Justice System Pt 1: No One Should Ever Be Punished

First, the latest cranial diarrhea out of the Libertarian camp (by the way guys, thanks so much for siphoning votes from right wingers all over the country), is this boozy little piece no doubt intellectually bandied about by icehouse-inspired college beta orbiters. This is Jason Byas, and he thinks noone should ever be punished:

Attorney General Neckneard will make sure Lloyds of London pays out for Dindu Nuffin's crimes
Attorney General Neckbeard will make sure Lloyds of London pays out for Dindu Nuffin’s crimes

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To James On Anarcho-Capitalism

Source: Mises Canada

paintingmelbourneBetter late than never I suppose! I hope this response finds you and your associates at Mises Canada well, James.

Back in July you took issue with a now-deleted article, where I weighed-in on the topic of anarcho-capitalism. Specifically, you disagreed with my assessment that the ideology is a hopeless contradiction. You put considerable effort in being both fair and reasonable with your arguments; I will do my best to return the favor.

Before I begin, I concede that it was incorrect to write off the ideology as I did. That was a low-hanging fruit that I’m sure any seasoned rhetorician could level against any opposing ideology. While I still find the combination of “anarchy” and “capitalism” to be somewhat incongruent, while I think the thought experiments and real-world examples offered by ancaps aren’t that convincing, it doesn’t really cut to what I believe to be the ultimate failing of your ideology.

…Which I will get into after I first clear up two minor quibbles with this article.

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14.88 Rules of Engagement in Ferguson

TRS’s collective palms are clasped, rubbing in anticipation of the coming Grand Jury’s announcement that Officer Darren Wilson will not be indicted for shooting “unarmed” Dindu Mike Brown back in August. It appears that TRS is not the only organization who are predicting that once again, in Race War UhmeriKKKa, facts and evidence get in the way of liberal narrative and rent-seeking. The Don’t Shoot Coalition also seems to see the writing on the wall, and have hilariously drafted a list of demands for new “rules of engagement” between the Ferguson Police and the expected mob of unruly Dono Nuffins who will most likely burn Ferguson to the ground in “protest.” (I’m sure we could expect them to burn it down in celebration too, should Wilson actually be indicted.)

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Government fed, powerless, vibrant cypher: “YT oppression caused my daughter to steal car, kill self during high speed elusion”

Who says vibrant youths dont have communal values? Observe the coming together in death for the common purpose of blaming YT
Who says vibrant youths dont have communal values? Observe the coming together in death for the common purpose of blaming YT

Behold the dodo bird of the criminal justice system: black agency

Surely history will write off progressivism and social marxism as the most deleterious social movements of modern history. (This of course assumes the collapse of the dildocracy as a whole, in some sort of zero-hedgian “Great Reset.” We all pray to Ron Paul and horde ammo for this happening, but that’s for another time and author.) In my humble opinion progressivism’s greatest crime was taking away the agency of non-whites by convincing them they had none.

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Old White Men with Guns are Still Heroes.

I know it’s easy to become a bitter, disenchanted alcoholic when all a man sees is the unceasing march of the dildos approaching like some annual winter migration, but we’re going to take a minute to give respect where it is due to some white patriarchal figures that deserve more recognition. Naturally the mainstream media hasn’t taken much time off from the Ebola Crisis or the crushing Democrat election defeat to acknowledge them, so we here at TRS are going to put them in the spotlight for a second and highlight what makes them particularly shining examples of what us vile racist hetero-patriarchs are supposed to do in the face of evil.

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The Republican Road to Victory?

While my autistic inability to empathize with the experiences of others surely may be the source of the following idea, I figure it could still be worth sharing.  Check the numbers. Look at some polls. See who’s trolling who in the political arena. I’m going to take a break from endlessly fapping to the idea of Generalissimo Joseph Arpaio successfully sending a few Hawker Hunters into DC airspace and leading the US to glory and consider what may really be going on in the American electorate.

Oddly enough, I don't think the Alt-Right has, Mr. Presichimp!
Oddly enough, I don’t think the Alt-Right has, Mr. Presichimp!

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