How to Waifu

When I was a boy, my father took me to the family farm one Saturday afternoon. It wasn’t exactly an estate. We lived a solid middle class life in a small Midwestern town, but my father had long ago purchased a 200 acre plot about 45 minutes away as a kind of hobby. The main activities on this farm seemed to me to be “bush-hogging” the tangled prairie grass that grew with bacteriological speed and digging holes for fencing that served no apparent purpose. My parents used to train some horses, but after an unfortunate accident several years before I was born, those had apparently shipped off to the glue factory.

I hated it. I dreaded the dreary, silent drive, the odor of creosote freshly applied to fencing, and above all the profoundly out-of-place feeling it produced in me. I preferred my little world of adventure books and video games, fast food restaurants, and anti-septic cleanliness. My dreams were of castles and magic forests, not cow patties and gravel roads.

This particular afternoon, however, was different. Though I had no way of knowing it, my father had a specific purpose in mind that day, and it would alter the course of my life forever.

When we got to the farm, he asked me if I wanted to go for a walk. This was different. Normally, he bolted off to the tenant-manager’s little house, leaving me to wander aimlessly around our little lake, throwing rocks at turtles and dodging impossibly large stinging insects.

A few minutes into the walk, he asked me what I thought was the most important decision I would ever make. I struggled for an answer. “Where to go to college?” “What career to choose?” “Not riding a motorcycle without a helmet?” “Not doing drugs?” “Not getting a girl pregnant?” Ugh. None of these seemed like promising topics.

“Son, the most important decision you will ever make is who you marry.”

My father and I were never really all that close, but this is one of the two or three conversations with him that have stayed with me my entire life. During the course of this walk, he transformed from the distant, inscrutable authority figure who never seemed to “get me” into a kind of oracle out of the adventure books I loved so much. I hung on his every word. I idolized my mother (to this day, the smartest, wisest person I have ever met), but like most kids I had never thought about what brought my parents together or the fact that, had things gone differently, I wouldn’t even exist.

I’m a middle-aged man, now. I’ve made lots of big decisions, some good and some bad. Mostly, the decisions were simply part of the twisting and turning through an unfolding life. Often, what seemed “good” at the time was later revealed to be a mistake. And, because God protects fools as well as babies, some of the “bad” ones turned out to be not so bad after all. But one that I got right—very right—was the big one: I married a great woman.

That doesn’t mean that our marriage has been easy. We’ve had our struggles. Our closeness ebbs and flows. We are very different people.

Now that I have two young boys of my own, I find myself returning to this conversation. Being a parent means entering into a world of almost infinite worry: will my children be healthy? Will they be successful? Will they have good friends? Will they be good people? But the big one for me is, “Will they marry good women?”

Because there are so many young men in our movement, I thought I’d share some hard-won, practical advice. This is unfamiliar territory for me. I generally like to write about historiography, theology, and metapolitics. But in a very real sense, nothing is more important for the future of our movement and our people than ensuring that we produce stable, productive family structures. That is no easy feat in this world. You have to navigate between the pseudo-masculine idiocy of the “manosphere” and the sheer depravity of modern feminism. So, gather ‘round NEETS and young bucks. This is for you:

1) Know that the purpose of marriage is the production of children. Traditional societies have always understood this, as have the few surviving traditional institutions in this Kali Yuga. The propagation of your genes—and along with them your culture, your values, your belief systems, and your latent potential—is of paramount importance. Physical attraction will fade. You will be tempted. You may even stray. You will change, and your wife will change. You will argue over big things and small things. You will irritate each other. The only constant will be the children you produce together. Enter into your marriage knowing this and you will gain access to a virtuous stoicism that will see you through the inevitable rough patches.

Throughout most of our history, when our societies were more stable and cohesive, marriages were arranged by the families. If the couple could learn to love each other, all the better. This was not a perfect system, of course, but consider it against the modern, romanticized approach. Laws of courtship and reciprocity were observed. Form mattered. The extended families were thinking long-term, rather than acting out of emotional impulsivity.

If anything, the stakes are even higher today, with no-fault divorce, women in the workplace, and a popular culture that treats marriage like a cellular carrier contract.

I’m not naïve or old-fashioned enough to argue that we could (or should) return to this system. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t apply some of its best practices to our present situation. I have seen many young men enter into unfortunate marriages over the objections of their friends and family. “You don’t understand her! She is different when we are alone together. She has been through a lot. Why can’t you just trust my judgment? I’m not a child!” These are the things one says before entering into a marriage that will end in financial and emotional ruin.

Families and friends aren’t always right. But they tend to pick up on emotional cues that someone in the full throes of phenylethylamine, dopamine, and norepinephrine will miss. Listen to them. Talk to parents and other relatives who have had successful marriages. Ask for their feedback and advice.

2) Prioritize virtue.

“A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.” - Proverbs 12:4

The number of pre-marital sexual partners a woman has is the single most powerful predictor of marital stability.

I know what you’re thinking: “Good luck finding a virgin bride in today’s world!” I’m sympathetic. Chastity, like every other traditional virtue, is an object of scorn in the popular culture. Young girls are being sexualized as early as age 8-9, and by the time they reach high school, they’re getting state-sponsored lessons on placing condoms and lubing up for “safe” anal intercourse. But finding a virtuous woman is not impossible.

Even today, a majority of white women have had 2 or fewer lifetime sexual partners. It is certainly not for lack of sexual opportunities! In fact, women continue to express a preference for fewer sexual partners according to longitudinal studies.

This data suggests that there is a time function involved the math. The longer a woman remains single, the more sexual partners she is likely to have and the more likely she is to consider a larger number of sexual partners to be “ideal.” Which brings me to my next point:

3) Marry them young. White people are marrying later and having children later, contributing to our demographic decline. There are a number of reasons for this, but economic anxiety is near the top of the list. Whites, with their natural low time-preference, tend to think long-term: “Can I afford to get married?” “Can I afford to have a child?” These fears are amplified through the media, which constantly promotes the “cost” of having children.

Of course, this runs against common sense and reality: children are the source of wealth, not a drain on it. Children can take care of you in your old age. Children who grow up in a healthy family environment tend to become productive members of society. Childless seniors must rely entirely on the state for their financial security, which is precisely the goal of the anti-natalist Left.
By marrying women while they are young, you can help them escape the career trap. You help them preserve their chastity. You set yourself up for a more stable marriage. You increase your likelihood of having healthy children.

4) Be wary of city girls. Cities are cultural and sexual melting pots. They tend to attract career-minded, sexually-adventurous women. Women in cities marry later and have more sexual partners:
Social trust is lower in cities. You are less likely to know a potential mate’s family, friends, and history. Obviously, this is not to say that all city girls are cock-carousel riding sluts, but your chances of finding a young woman amenable to marriage are much, much better the farther you get from major metropolitan areas.

5) Don’t live together. Just don’t. Cohabitation significantly increases the likelihood of divorce:

6) Stop watching porn. It’s poison:

Porn is one of the great spiritual weapons unleashed against White people, and it is specifically designed to destroy families. If you want to find a good, stable woman to build a family with, start by making yourself a good, stable man.

7) Attend church together. Couples who attend church weekly are up to 50% less likely to divorce than those who do not:
The 14 words are at the heart of our movement. Making good, productive marriages is therefore a key goal of the Alt Right. It is not easy. In fact, it is significantly harder than shitposting, edge-lording, and meme-ing. Young men of the alt Right need to be intentional and responsible in their sexual behavior. This is the most important thing you can do for the cause and the most important decision you will ever make.