A Punk Shitlord Looks at 40

"When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things." 1 Cor. 13:11 (KJV)

Right now, Bad Religion is touring with Against Me! and some other jerk nobody cares about. If you've been a part of TRS for an appreciable amount of time you know I have been a Bad Religion fan for a long time. I grew up with them in high school and college, and watching their slow decay into punk rock's emasculated Grateful Dead has been a tough pill to swallow. I haven't been to one of their shows in probably 4-5 years, and the wife wonders why.

For starters, this thing sings for the opening act:

(An aside, the term "Assigned Male" is so infuriatingly triggering to me because it reminds me of article I did prior to Great Toiletlaw Purge of earlier this year. I wrote about some asshole turning a little boy into TUMBLRMAN complete with a "shenis" and a desire to turn her cishet nazi shitlord dad into the Stasi for a lobotomy re-education. But I digress.)

Bad Religion passed through a nearby town recently and I waived attending. I had a very close friend whom I have known since high school beg me to go see them. That friend and I have been through thick and thin together, and we've skipped class to go to the beach while blasting the Stranger Than Fiction album through his old Chevy S-10 speakers. I drank my first beer to The Gray Race, I fucked my first serious girlfriend after their local stop during the New America tour in 2000, and I even took my wife to see them with Rise Against during R.A.'s Endgame tour back in 2011. I've had many laughs with this band. Somewhere out there is a video of me bantzing with them during a show. I've shed a tear or two once or twice with them, and they've been a link to the past (no zelda pun intended) that I've had fond memories of.

But I can't do it anymore. I'm not a fucking kid or basic bitch millenial. They're not the band I grew up with. Or maybe they never were. Their leader is a balding old man who supplants his musical income by using his relative fame to sell books on evolution and atheism to troubled teens desperate to find something to quote in order to sound smart. Greg Graffin appears on MSNBC opposite that doughy piece of shit Chris Hayes to shit on Christianity because of the great fag pope Bergoglio:

They sell basic bitch tour shirts with Trump and Hillary as half skeletons and "None of the Above" underneath like they're making a bold statement. They've gone from mocking society to being its aging hall monitors

How do you do fellow kids, indeed. Graffin was recently quoted as saying punk is as diverse as ever, though I can't find the source at this moment. As for diversity, well, you won't find much intellectual diversity among punk rock's largest tours. This is to be expected; their audience are all disaffected kids embossed with modern academia's branding on their foreheads or middle aged assholes clinging desperately to their member berries of their vivacious energetic youth while at the same time drowning in the mediocrity of modern shit tier living. But Graffin needs to remember his own words. The Graffin of the late 1980's would have none of it:

“Punk is: the personal expression of uniqueness that comes from the experiences of growing up in touch with our human ability to reason and ask questions; a movement that serves to refute social attitudes that have been perpetuated through willful ignorance of human nature; a process of questioning and commitment to understanding that results in self-progress, and through repetition, flowers into social evolution; a belief that this world is what we make of it, truth comes from our understanding of the way things are, not from the blind adherence to prescriptions about the way things should be; the constant struggle against fear of social repercussions.”

What could be more punk than what we do now with our movement and our lives? Our experiences growing up tell us that white is evil, morality is fluid, gender is fungible. Social attitudes tell us that to question society's norms, to criticize currentyear-ism is inherently wrong and the dissent of man is to be suppressed. What could be more willfully ignorant of human nature than the idea that XE CY ZYR dragonqueerkin are just as unique and special and has equal worth as you or I? That women and men are fundamentally different and that society functions best when men and women perform those societal functions they are genetically best suited to? That centuries of genetic evolution has proven some human beings are better suited for some environments than others? That people are different, and forcing them together only promotes chaos? Are we not basing our arguments on the fact that truth comes from the observable world around us, not the pie in the sky pablum forced upon us by "our superiors?" Are we not fighting a constant struggle against the fear of social repercussions?

Some of us (ahem, Mr. Enoch) insist punk is Jewish. And I'm not in a position to necessarily argue it because right now it is about as echoey as any New York Times Trump hit piece. Bad Religiongoldbergblattstein might as well be the VOX problem negro bitching about whitey, or the Modern Feminism catlady whining about masculinity, or some fag over at VICE telling you to literally stick your fist in your butt. But what we're doing, like it or not, is the modern day punk movement. We're just not sticking faggy safety pins on our jacket and we're shaving our heads for entirely different reasons.

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Professor Emeritus of law and shitposting
Soon to be dadville