A Day in the Life of a Muslim Migrant

10.30: Wake up
10.31: Think about raping infidel European women
10.32: Spit and have first cigarette of the day
10.32: Think about raping wives of infidels
10.33: Scratch bollocks (think about raping daughters of infidels)
10.40: Wander around train station staring daggers at everyone
10.44: Go for piss (not in toilet) while thinking about raping more European women
10.55: Have breakfast (supplied by aid agencies with all crosses and references to Christianity removed from packaging)
10.56: Think about raping nice aid agency woman
11.10: Leave enormous pile of litter
11.12: Wander around spitting, scratching crotch, and thinking about raping every European woman
11.15: Form mob, grab small kebab child to use as weapon and shield
11.20: See camera crew; pull out onion and cry while thinking about raping female TV producer
11.30: Go for a dump directly in front of camera crew, knowing that they will fully respect your privacy by not filming it
11.40: Wipe arse with handmade “welcome to Europe” cards sent by German and Swedish schoolchildren
11.45 – 15.00: Spend next few hours lying in front of train station entrance begging and thinking about raping every European woman who goes by
15.01: Fifteenth cigarette break of the day
15.15: Check in with ISIS controller for quick refresher course on how to rape European women and slaughter them in halal manner so as to enter Islamic Paradise, where more raping can be done
15.30: Follow aid agency worker to luxury hotel commandeered by kindly European government or charity to deal with migrant crisis
15.45: Have luxury meal – rape food with mouth
16.35: Short siesta time in freshly cleaned hotel bedroom
16.55: Wake up on faeces-covered bed sheets and wonder at the large piles of trash that have mysteriously accumulated in every corner of every room
16.56: Still sleepy; temporarily think about fucking a goat before remembering in Europe and changing rape fantasy receptacle to European woman
17.15-21.30: Hang around centre of historic European capital begging for money and cigarettes while constantly thinking about raping every single European woman, child, and statue seen
21.31: Large numbers of police arrive to protect migrants from half-a-dozen anti-migrant protesters. Look for nearest small Arab, Kurdish, or Bangladeshi child to use as prop
21.35: Camera crew arrives; realize forgot onion at hotel so poke self in eye
21.36 – 22.15: Cry about police brutality while trying to drown small kebab in local fountain for maximum media effect
22.30: Return to hotel room after hard day guilt-tripping and defecating on Europe
22.35: Switch on Euro-porn channel (paid for by aid) and spend next three hours jerking off while occasionally thinking about the goats back home