Change for a twenty?

The servants of Dildolech are at it again, ratcheting up their efforts to erode every facet of tradition that composes America. The latest offering to the God of Political Correctness: the face on America's twenty dollar bill. I first noticed this story in USA Today, but various clips have aired on NBC Nightly News, CBS News, and CNN leading up to today's announcement. Congressman Luis Gutierrez (D-Illinois) has even brought it up in Congress. Let's take a closer look.

The "movement" is being pushed by a group called Women on 20s. They have almost 35k likes on Facebook, so you know they are a force to be reckoned with. They really hit the big time when they produced this slick little video. It has 301+ views, and they have a whopping 168 subscribers.

Despite these low numbers, USA Today reports that "America wants Harriet Tubman" to replace Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill. I had the good sense to check the actual results of the voting to see if USA Today knew something I didn't. They don't.

Is this what you want, America?

I won't bore you with all the details, but it was basically a two step voting process. They took the top four winners (supposedly) from the first round, and then voted again. I'm going to be exceptionally white and magnanimous and use their own obviously inflated poll results for this next demonstration. The results claim that a total of 609,090 people voted for the winner, Harriet Tubman, and that somehow this represents a statistically significant portion of the American population that wants Jackson's image replaced. It is estimated that there are approximately 322 million Americans. Some basic, pre-common core mathematics reveals that the total number of votes against the population means only 0.19% of the American population actually even gave enough of a shit to vote for making this ridiculous change. This is NOT statistically significant, thought the liberal swine media would have you believe there is a major groundswell of support. EDIT: THE METHODOLOGY OF THE VOTING IS THE REAL CAUSE FOR CONCERN, AS THE SAMPLE SET IS NOT REPRESENTATIVE OF THE TOTAL POPULATION, THUS INVALIDATING THE RESULTS.

Given this analysis, please allow me to issue a formal retort to the proposed agenda of Women on 20s:

Fuck you. Shut up. No one cares what you want. Go back to the kitchen and crawl into the oven where you belong.

What America needs is not this bootlicking, minority-pandering, revisionist bullshit. America needs a movement that will restore our floundering faith in the quality of our citizenship. America needs a renaissance of common sense and dignity. America needs to unite again for our common welfare. America needs to support a movement they can believe in: #occupyovens. Only then can we reclaim our dignity and nation from the clutches of Dildolech.

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There is nothing wrong with America that cannot be fixed by crushing modern liberalism.