The Sound Of One Goy Clapping

Before I get going on steamrolling today’s hot news, let me first state that grown men calling a man “Bibi” is about the most faggy God-damned thing I could ever imagine.

#ClapWithRand

Obviously, we finally have a Republican presidential hopeful we can fap over. Rand is clapping slightly less enthusiastically than the good goy congressmen immediately surrounding him. His tongue is a good half an inch less deep in Netanyahu’s asshole than his colleagues’. I hear he doesn’t even cup Israel’s scrotum while he’s feverishly pleasuring the nation orally unless Israel asks him to do so. That’s horrible beej form. He’s definitely ready to cut ties with Israel as soon as he’s elected. And that semi-bored glance to his right? A  nod to Ultra Right Wing Supremacy if I’ve ever seen one televised on television (on the internet). And those eyes! Those nonplussed, weary, sick-of-it-all windows into his Anti-Semitic soul. I know what he’s thinking; that big bad Iran is actually fighting ISIS while Israel enjoys some de facto non-aggression pact with them! He can’t even tell Jew’s Jihading Jew anymore!!

This animated GIF manages to communicate more in two seconds than all 28 installments of The Merchant Minute combined; That Rand Paul is a new breed of American Conservative who isn’t going to bow down and do Israel’s bidding! We’re not the Little Satan’s lapdog and we’re not gonna take it anymore! In a scathing response to his numerous detractors today, Rand’s office released the statement “Israel is and has always been America’s friend and ally. I was pleased to hear Prime Minister Netanyahu’s speech to Congress today, and join him in calling for peace and standing together for our mutual interests. It is important to work together to prevent a nuclear Iran, and the spread of Radical Islam.”

I know that seems like approximately 50 words, but all I see are Fourteen Words, baby.

I’m not sure how Governor Scott Walker can top this stunt, guys. He’ll have to really throw down the gauntlet and like, I dunno, maybe say he prefers Nathan’s to Hebrew National or something.

Republican RaHoWa 2016!!!

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