The Essential TRS Troll Guide, Part 2

In Part 1 we talked about general goals, types of forums, and the sorts of liberal cat ladies you’ll meet there. Now we’ll get down to business and discuss which troll class you should play and the sorts of weapons, power-ups, and team tactics to use.

Red Team
Remember to ubercharge your team-mates with those FBI crime statistics.
Choose your style, and let the games begin.

Player classes

Normalfag Soldier

Let’s be honest, this is who most us actually are. We’re just regular ol’ right leaning everyday Joes, firing our fact-rockets into packs of liberal cat ladies. The Normalfag Soldier simply presents intellectually honest arguments, cites statistics, scientific research, and historic facts to back up his position, and doesn’t usually try to set everyone on fire, at least if he isn’t using the Cowmangler 5000. Technically, this isn’t really even trolling so much as just being based and telling things like they are.

The Normalfag is the best general offense against pleb-tier liberals that aren’t smart enough to fall prey to the intellectually sophisticated tactics of some of the other classes. DPS here is good, but you won’t be able to get those critical head shots and backstabs that your opponents are completely unprepared for.

The Pyro

Just like in TF2, the Pyro is fun if you just want to cause a lot of damage and get kills on weak players that got in the path of your unending flamethrower. It’s not a high skill class, but being a good pyro does require you have some cleverness, since sneaking up on your opponent with a few logical arguments before hurling ever more imaginative and creative abuse on them takes some experience. It goes without saying the effectiveness of calling someone a “degenerate cuckold that likes to lick the cum of other men out his wife’s STD infested cunt” is going to depend a lot on how easily offended the target is. Other pyros are much harder to kill this way, but giving into the desire to flame them right back can be quite satisfying, especially if your invective is stronger than theirs.

Naturally, against liberal cat ladies, this kind of attack can result in immediate blocking. While w+m1 might seem like a surefire way to get kickbanned off a lot forums, liberals are more used to this lowbrow tactic and as actually as group appear to view it as less threatening than some of other, more deceptive techniques.

The Spy

Let’s face it, this class is hard to play, everyone hates it, and it’ll get you kickbanned with the swiftness. Essentially you’re going to employ an entire subset of various tactics under this umbrella. You might for example, Tone Troll as a moderate, Concern Troll about the ramifications of various dildo liberal premises, or just outright disguise yourself as a lefty and then dishonestly ask for “help” regarding a premise you just so happen to find is shot down time and again by conservatives. (Thanks to Sean Last on that last one)

Using this strategy is all about literal trolling. You’re pretending to be someone you aren’t, and the objective is to get liberals on your side, then backstab them brutally. Disguising as a liberal isn’t much of an intellectual challenge, since the Turing Test is pretty much just a matter of decrying the Koch Brothers, calling conservatives racist bigoted greedy bastards, and parroting Jon Stewart talking points. The problem is, once you’ve been outed as a backstabbing troll, everyone on the enemy team will be shooting in your direction.

Weapons and tactics
At TRS, we keep an assortment of effective trolls and go to techniques loaded up and ready to deploy faster than you can say “Rainbow Dash Dragon Dildo”.

The Fact Launcher
Always keep important statistics, research papers, and historical facts bookmarked or saved to your computer. *This includes the FBI crime stats linked from the department of justice, racial demographic maps of the US for those little arguments about why red states have worse socio-economic status, and of course, tons of psychology and IQ studies of the sort that drives the average Jon Stewart watcher into apoplexy. If you’ve been arguing and trolling online, you’ve probably stumbled across a lot of this ammunition already, just remember to bookmark or save it for easy access. *Try to only link the most unbiased possible sources, preferably government websites and scientific journals/magazines.

To wreak havoc with the Fact Launcher, find a thread some eager eyed young star gazing liberal has posted, and proceed to wreck it with volleys of facts fired at the preening, conceited bullshit that said liberal is spewing. Alternatively, you can troll hard by posting some Inconvenient Science about a politically incorrect topic, then watch the fireworks as indignant bluedogs chimp out over how racist/bigoted/evil you are for contradicting their assumptions.

The TRS Argumentation Style
At TRS, one thing we have perfected is using the arguments of the enemy against them. To obtain this sort of devastating approach required many long nights staring into the Abyss and reading Black Girl Dangerous, but the end result is a distinctive style of trolling capable of butchering the jimmies of the unsuspecting leftist. How does it work? Instead of replying to an idiotic leftist premise like “race isn’t real” with a drawn out rational explanation of how this is just the continuum fallacy to say it isn’t and point out that science is based on creating distinct categories, you simply accuse the lefty of trying to “erase black bodies altogether”. When they talk about transgender rights, you reply by observing that male to female transsexuals are appropriating the female form and reducing womanhood to exaggerated caricatures of lipstick and highheels, much like a white actor wearing blackface turns African Americans into a stereotype to be parodied. Are they talking about black underachievement? Accuse them of holding blacks to a white European standard of success and imply we need to look at our own racist assumptions before making socio-economic prescriptions for others.

This tactic is particularly alarming to lefties because it demonstrates you know their world better than they do, you’re showing their stances to be a ridiculous self parody, and responding to your critiques would require refuting some aspect of modern identity politics driven leftism. Against SJWs and feminists, this sort of style can literally trip them over their own dildos.

The Tactical Snarkbomb
Why debate a lefty over a set of talking points you’ve already been over 1488 times when you can just pre-empt their faggotry with some invective about their positions and tastes in general? When someone starts talking about American exceptionalism and how we’d be living in a Marxist utopia if it wasn’t for greedy capitalists, just start making snarky remarks about how the poster listens to Rage Against the Machine albums while reading Noam Chomsky and watching Democracy Now! on the teevee. Simply start cataloging the various predictable authors and books they’ve read while implying these sorts of interests are the typical fodder for pleb-tier mainstream dullards. No special snowflake likes to be confronted with their own banality.

This kind of tactic can be absolutely devastating against those preachy college age male socialist types convinced of how novel their Tr00 Believer stances are.

Team tactics
Group trolling can be a great form of team based entertainment. Play Good Cop/Bad Cop, or assume the role of stupid lefty victim while your team-mates pounce on liberal allies running to your rescue. *Don’t TK your own side, especially when you’re trolling heavily moderated forums. *Pleb-tier conservatives are not your friends, they are Useful Idiots at best and obstacles at worst.