Feminism As Matriarchy: 11 Simple Rules For Pussy Whipped Masochists

Over at the oddly named website .Mic a rare domesticated male dindu and self-declared social justice advocate named Derrick Clifton has revealed the secret to fulfilling every man’s dream of becoming a feminist. No, not the #NiceGuy creepy serial rapist type of male feminist, but the one who actually believes in this shit. So You Want to Be a Male Feminist? Here Are 11 Simple Rules to Follow is a pretty intimidating headline, but since the rules are supposed to be simple, I’m up for the challenge.

TRS Waifus
TRS waifus on a Friday night
I’m sure most of you are probably nowhere close to being as articulate or wise as this outstanding black SJW (I myself am awed by his superior intellect) so I’m going to publish his list and then translate it into dumb stoopid rightwing redneck speak for you conservative Faux News watchers.

Before I do that I’m going to just give you a quick definition. Clifton leads the way:

”Keep in mind that a feminist, as defined by Nigerian author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, is a person who believes in the social, political and economic equality of the sexes (and various gender identities). Although some believe that men have no place in the movement, others argue that strategic social movements should build bridges of solidarity. It’s not about focusing or coddling men, but instead about recognizing that people who have privilege can operate with respect and understanding by taking the leads from those who have been marginalized.”

I’m glad Ms. OgaboogaClickClak cleared that up for me because I’ve never heard of that concept before. After all, it’s not like feminism was ever invented over a hundred years ago by white wymyn or that the second wave incarnation was largely staffed almost exclusively by a certain tribe (no, not an African tribe, but it looks like we’re making progress in that department too).

Now that we know the definition of feminism we can learn the rules. Each numbered line is written by Clifton, the TRS omega cuck translation is below each line:

  1. Understand that women are leading the way and affirm their capable leadership. Don’t assert yourself at the forefront.
    Women are in charge.

  2. When it comes to issues that directly pertain to women’s bodies and experiences, be quiet and listen.
    Don’t speak until spoken to.

  3. Men don’t get to determine if they are “allies” to the feminist movement. Women do.
    You do not have agency.

  4. Take responsibility for addressing men’s issues with other men, rather than expecting women in feminism to do all of the work.
    Go sit at the men’s table and be nice.

  5. Use your male privilege to encourage other men to work towards gender equality, under women’s leadership.
    Tell other men that women are in charge.

  6. Don’t use the label of “feminist” as a way to try to get women to like you — that’s disingenuous and counterproductive.
    Be a true believer.

  7. When given opportunities to execute professional tasks related to feminist issues, consider referring other women instead.
    Get back in the kitchen.

  8. Educate yourself about the history of feminism and how women of different backgrounds have approached the movement.
    Study the sacred texts.

  9. Ensure your feminism is intersectional.
    Appease everyone.

  10. Acknowledge that sometimes, women need opportunities to discuss feminist issues without the presence of men. And that’s okay.
    I told you to get back in the kitchen.

  11. When women criticize your involvement in feminism, don’t talk over them or talk down to them. Actively listen and be accountable.
    Know your place.

Congratulations! You are now a male feminist! Gold stars for everyone.

nsgirl

Maybe feminism isn’t so bad after all

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For the purrrrrity of the race.