One of the greatest embarrassments to the Vibrant-American community is the fact that Asians come over here and do awfully well. In fact, almost right away, they’re doing about as well as the
native racist shitlord population. Liberals recently have been calling this a “myth,” precisely so they can tear down the idea that the reason Dindu Nuffins dindu nuffin has more to do with Dindu and his nuffins than anything white folks evil cisheteropatriarchs have perpetrated. Lately, they’ve been focusing on the post-educational achievement gap by Asians. (Somehow, racism causes blacks to fail in school, but doesn’t stop Asians from out-performing there.) The left-wing nonpartisan dildo manufacturer research group, American Institute for Economic Research, has recently published a bunch of statistics claiming that Asians are woefully underpaid—paid even worse than blacks, in fact!
Asian-American techies made $8,146 less in average annual wages than their white counterparts in 2012; $3,656 less than black employees; and $6,907 less than those who checked the box as “other” (which includes mixed-race people). Women in tech made $6,358 less than men in 2012. The pay gap was most egregious for Hispanics, who earned, on average, $16,353 less than white workers in 2012.
Now, something should smell as fishy as Lena Dunham’s gash when you see that. According to liberals, the pecking order of hate goes white –> blacks –> women –> other –> Asian –> Hispanics.
That’s right, Asians are supposedly the SECOND MOST hated group in the tech industry, even more than women or blacks (because the only reason for a pay disparity is hate, obvs). You’re probably wondering what they’re not accounting for in their analysis. So what’s the missing ingredient? Well, there are a few:
1. The EEOC rides your ass if you don’t promote your Dindus and broads.
Once you hit 50 employees, you are required by law to submit diversity statistics to the federal government. If they feel like your work force isn’t diverse enough, that’s grounds for a lawsuit that you will probably lose, thanks to the Court’s anti-science “disparate impact implies disparate treatment” doctrine. Asians aren’t a protected minority, so that’s one reason they’re behind blax and wimmenz.
2. GIMME AN H! GIMME A 1! GIMME A B! WHAT’S THAT SPELL? MASSIVE ADDED HIRING COSTS!!!!
The tech boom in America has coincided with a massive influx of Asian immigrants. And, you know, that’s fine. If we’re going to have a lot of immigrants, I say go for the ones with high IQs who managed to build a high-functioning, low-crime, high-trust society on their own. An H1B costs the employer five grand (or more if it doesn’t run smoothly). And, speaking from experience, visas mean visa problems. Yeah, we know it’s not your fault that you got notified by USCIS while on vacation that you had to wait at the Canadian border an extra month while they processed more paperwork to allow you to come back into the country. But it still means you didn’t get any work done for six weeks. And if you don’t win the visa lottery at some point? Back to China you go! And frankly, the boss can’t put someone in a management position whose presence we can’t rely on. So yeah, not being a citizen means you cost the company more money and can’t get as much work done. That can and will be reflected in an employee’s pay.
3. “Hey, I have this big ITAR project. Oh, you’re not a citizen?”
Despite sharing dozens of Black Science Man memes on Facebook, most liberals actually don’t have the first clue about science or how it works. One realrealrealreal important fact here is that virtually every large company in STEM does some kind of business with the federal government or government contractor. And if you aren’t ITAR-compliant, you’ve excluded yourself from a lot of business. ITAR is the lowest level of security clearance, and if you aren’t a citizen, you can’t look at ITAR-controlled information. Working in the windowless, controlled, electronically quarantined ITAR section of any company typically comes with a large pay bump.
4. How’s your English? Sucks? Sorry.
Those of you who have demanding jobs, i.e. not feminist cat ladies, understand that communication between management and the lower levels is critical, as is communication among the workers. Now, this is something liberals really have a hard time with, as their entire experience with non-Americans is via TV, where accents are muted and grammar is perfect, and the service industry, where the guy behind the counter has to be able to understand your order. The reality, of course, is that Yung-Ting Quan over there speaks slowly, has a limited vocabulary, frequently botches pronunciation and grammar so badly no one knows what he said, and often asks you to repeat yourself. This makes Mr Quan hard to work with and definitely not leadership material. Liberals call the inability to understand broken English “racism,” so okay, reality is racist. Reality is also the reason Mr Quan isn’t getting a big raise this year, and until liberals figure out how to make all syllable salad equally comprehensible, that’s not changing.
5. Chinese work culture doesn’t gel with American.
In the USA, we value aggressive, go-getting employees who don’t wait to be told what to do, constantly seek to improve themselves and the team, aren’t afraid to disagree with their bosses when necessary, and pursue ideas. Do that while executing on your deadlines, and your future should be bright. Kick ass, get promoted. Hide in your cubicle and grind away at your computer for 12 hours a day, and stay a cube jockey for life. In China, it’s basically the opposite. American-style butt-kicking is viewed as insubordination, while a much higher premium is placed on loyalty, long hours, and swift compliance. Liberals think it’s “racist” that we don’t hold Chinese workers to Chinese standards, but the fact is if you promote the Chinese way in an American company, you’re going to get run out of the market by faster, stronger competitors. American management has to be creative, aggressive, and proactive. A manager who hides in his office all day grinding away at tasks is a waste of his paycheck.
6. “You didn’t build that.”
The biggest salaries in Silicon Valley go to the guys who were there when the company was eight guys in a rented strip-mall basement. That tilts the average heavily toward the white guys. I know, I know. Liberals think that’s a form of “unfair privilege,” but tough crap. Life isn’t “fair.” However, while unfair this may be, it certainly isn’t “racism.” The reason Chinese tech workers didn’t get in the early stage growth of Amazon or Google is they were in China; startups really don’t file all that many H1B requests. Maybe the existence of China is racist? Or it’s racist for Americans to start companies without first calling someone in China?
Control for birthplace, experience, and socialization environment and I’ll bet that salary gap disappears out of statistical significance, just like the much-vaunted “77 cents on the dollar” myth does for women. Not that these arguments would work on liberals. Liberals view having a language as “racism.” They also label the effects of cultural differences as “racism,” as though humans aren’t fundamentally socializing beings and we could somehow make a business environment where both the ass-kicker and the office recluse were equally effective managers by just deciding not to be “racist.” For the liberal, it will always be white males’ fault the world doesn’t look like a retarded John Lennon song, but at least when they unload this particular sewer gem on you, you’ll know why they’re full of it.
Got a liberal lie you need addressed? Email me at [email protected].