What Wal-Mart Employees Are Really Thankful For

Tthe happiest slaves I've ever seen
The happiest slaves I’ve ever seen
It’s that time of year again. The time when liberals collectively remind us with tweets from their iPhones that they are above petty consumerism and that employing a mere 6,000 out of 2.2 million workers at minimum wage (a policy which they’re phasing out) is tantamount to slavery. Many of them cheered when the UFCW and AFL-CIO operated OUR Wal-Mart union announced plans to strike at every one of Wal-Mart’s 1600 locations (there were no strikers at either of mine). The #RaiseTheWage and #FightFor15 crowds are calling this year’s strikes “the most successful ever”.

So how many went on strike? According to the OUR Walmart union approximately 1,500 workers nationwide went on strike for Black Friday.

That’s 0.006% of their retail associates. No, that’s not a typo. Zero point zero zero six percent. Less than one per store.

Meanwhile, at the opening of a new Wal-Mart in Kansas recently more than 10,000 people applied for 300 jobs.

Clearly, Americans hate Wal-Mart.

The biggest problem they say, is wages. The average wage at Wal-Mart is a paltry $12.92 per hour according to Reuters. Former stay-at-home mom Barbara Gertz, who probably has no work experience since 1992, says that the $12.40/hr she makes just isn’t enough to make ends meet.

However, based 62 year old Wal-Mart employee Ernest Reed is thankful for his job, saying that he makes a great living wage and that Wal-Mart has given him “opportunities other companies won’t“. Diane Robinson, a 57 year old diabetic amputee thanks the Lord for her job, which has helped her put her kids through college and save for retirement. According to Glassdoor.com 65% of Wal-Mart workers are satisfied with their job. Out of their total associate workforce of 2.2 million that accounts for 1.43 million people happy to be working there.

I hate to break it to the left, who desperately want bad guys they can sling mud at, but Wal-Mart is not evil. Wal-Mart employs more people than any other company in America in a job that requires no experience and is among the safest, lowest-risk occupations in America. The rate of accidental deaths for retail workers in less than 0.4:100,000 according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

Perk: You very rarely get shot and bleed out in the desert
Perk: You very rarely get shot and bleed out in the desert
Furthermore, about 40% of Wal-Mart’s employees are between the ages of 18-24. More than 90% of Wal-Mart workers who are on food stamps get off them within 6 months of their hiring at Wal-Mart. About 70% move on to higher paying jobs thanks to experience and references gained during their time at Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart is the second largest employer of veterans in the US and the largest employer of people with disabilities who would otherwise not work at all. In the US Wal-Mart sources $20 billion dollars per year from woman-owned businesses. They’re not even confining their efforts to retail jobs and leaving manufacturing to be outsourced to China either. Wal-Mart has begun the largest organized program for buying US-made goods ever, pledging to buy $50 billion in US goods over the next 10 years.

As for wages, if $12.00+ per hour isn’t enough to stock shelves and operate a cash register, there are other ways to improve your station in life at Wally World. Private investor Josh Kennan notes that a couple working for Wal-Mart can take advantage of their Associate Stock Purchase Program, 401(k) options and contribution-matching to save $4.9 million by retirement while living a rich middle-class life all the way up until they leave the workforce. Yep, Wal-Mart is pretty much condemning them to a future of abject cat-food-diet poverty in a trailer park in the desert.

So while 1,500 people were complaining that their job at Wal-Mart was unfair, 1.4 million were thankful this Thanksgiving for the opportunities and income provided by the countries largest employer and retail operation.

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Duke Godwin is the ghost of an accountant who wrote a check for the Reichskanzlei's utility bill in 1931 and was executed by Mossad at the age of 96 for aiding the Nazi's
Hell, Michigan