All You Need to Know about Ferguson in One Video

After staying up well past my bedtime engaged in an impromptu Dindopocalypse Party, I crawled out of bed late to open my Chimpmas presents and felt my already dangerously high schadenfruede levels climb into fully toxic overdose status as I sat through Bassem Masri’s last segment of Livestream footage. Here we had a white-presenting kebab LARPer attempting to role play an “ally of the black community” getting his final broadcast cut short by a vibrant youf stealing his iPhone. Did this naive fool not read our TRS SWPL Safari Guide? Did he really think a “white” dude pitifully feigning a negroid “street accent” and issuing helpful commands about avoiding the marching police would honestly be seen as anything but a pathetic fake-ass poseur on holiday? Once my brain recovered from the neurological shock of this supremely ironic adventure in naive SWPL wannabes and the pavement apes who love them, I realized it really does sum up everything one needs to know about Ferguson:

Here we have a clueless anti-establishment Rage Against The Machine fan on Safari in the Black Zone to get dem Livestream viewers (Over 90K, mang!) of his courageous stand against the racist police force trying to warn people about the cops, only to have his iPhone stolen by the very same Basketball Americans he’s attempting to save. In a matter of seconds this went from DailyKOS to Worldstah, and how did Masri’s well oiled psychological mechanisms protect him from massive cognitive dissonance?

By claiming a “police agitator” stole his phone.

I believe it was a police agitator that stole my phone #ferguson

— Bassem Masri (@bassem_masri) November 25, 2014