Keira Knightley recently posed topless for Interview magazine (almost as NSFW as TRS). Apparently, being paid for looking good and having a generally fappable figure is some kind of “protest against Photoshop,” because software that can edit images is like, cisheteroprivileged and stuff.
Liberals all across the tumblrsphere, by which I mean the entire goddamned Internet these days, are falling all over themselves to tell her how brave and beautiful she is. Because in the feverish nightmare world of liberal reefer dreams, a 29-year-old who skipped college because she was hot enough to choke $50 million out of the male sex drive is like, oppressed and stuff.
And while a hot, blue-skinned, polygonated alien babe with patented BoobTech™ physics under her normal-mapped catsuit in Gunz of Deathcraft 4: Ultimate Bonercide Edition is a weapon of the patriarchy stopping little black girls in Detroit from mastering calculus, an actual woman cucking her husband to show you her actual tits for cold, hard cash is like, feminism and stuff.
Because I like, can’t even and stuff.
In a coincidence, a special meeting of the TRS Death Panel was recently convened. As cis, white, hetero males, the Death Panel is entitled to chart the entire course of America’s future. Every member of the Panel compared their independently drawn up plans for what their dystopian nightmare world of privilege will look like, and every single one of them involves easy access to the viewing of Keira Knightley’s bajoongajangas.
Sorry, toots, you played right into the patriarchy’s hands. Maybe like, next time and stuff.