The Republican Road to Victory?

While my autistic inability to empathize with the experiences of others surely may be the source of the following idea, I figure it could still be worth sharing.  Check the numbers. Look at some polls. See who’s trolling who in the political arena. I’m going to take a break from endlessly fapping to the idea of Generalissimo Joseph Arpaio successfully sending a few Hawker Hunters into DC airspace and leading the US to glory and consider what may really be going on in the American electorate.

Oddly enough, I don't think the Alt-Right has, Mr. Presichimp!
Oddly enough, I don’t think the Alt-Right has, Mr. Presichimp!
I like to think that I number among many of those in the American Right who were turned off of politics completely by the tepid “Compassionate” Conservatism of the George W Bush presidency (and all RNC actions since). No Child Left Behind? Medicare Part D? “Family Values don’t end at the Rio Grande?” “Big Government Conservatism?” Jack Abramoff? Four years of Republican control of the White House, House and Senate from ’03-’07 and all we had to show for it were a couple of increasingly difficult to defend wars with questionable purposes, constant defections of cabinet members writing “Tell-All” memoirs about the regime (culminating somewhat hilariously with Scott MacClellan’s entirely substance-free and effortlessly titled “What Happened“) and finally, a really shitty Oliver Stone (reduntantly redundant) film.

So I cast my ballot in 2006, pissing into the wind in not-so Upstate New York though I was, and for the last time.  All the 9-11 political capital was gone. The following day, with the results in, Rush Limbaugh outrageously declared that he would no longer “Carry Water” for Republican politicians when they didn’t hold true to their “conservative” principles. As the ’08 primaries began, the late Robert Novak published a column claiming that all the “big” Republican money was behind John McCain, and he predicted McCain’s nomination before anyone else did.

I found myself, along with millions of other young, white, middle class folk began leaning toward and eventually running to the open arms of Ron Paul and his rLOVEution or something. HaGay! for 4 years. After the ’08 McCain debacle, the Tea Party movement began. If there was anything worse than milquetoast beltway Republicans, it was town hall ignorant TeaTards who would argue for lower taxes and moar medicare in the same sentence. The two dueling factions of disaffected conservatives of course failed to get their candidates anywhere near the ’12 nomination.  The Republican Establishment felt enough heat from the RawPaw wing to go as far as to change important primary rules to keep him down, and I’m honestly not even sure who the TeaTards thought their guy was. Fred Thompson? Rick Santorum? Not even Dave Mustaine, the most awesome human being on the planet, could convince the Republicans to nominate that guy.

Based Mustaine.
Based Mustaine.
I, along with millions of other former/prospective Republican voters just didn’t bother.  Why vote? Let Obama have a term (hell, let him have a SECOND term!) and show America what these fucks could do. And Lord Almighty, did they ever do. They Bailed out Wall Street while they pretended to Occupy Wall Street. They subsidized a bankrupt solar power corporation. They kept telling us the freezing cold winters were global warming. They told us they needed to pass “Obamacare” in order to find out what was in it! And then they made it happen!!!

Anyway, you get the picture.

Yes, yes I do, VPGILF.
Yes, yes I do, VPGILF.
But why the hell am I painting it for you? Fucking 560 words about Seventh Son’s Spiritual Journey Through American Politics, 2006-2014. Such blog. Many words. Wow.

Because I think this cycle is over. And I think we have to make it so. Ron Paul has retired. His son is so typically Republican the libertarian bros don’t know what to do with themselves. Who the fuck is gonna moneybomb the internet in 2016? Gary fucking Johnson? Today is election day. Conventional wisdom, polling and the folks in the know have all predicted a repeat of Bush’s 2006 death-blow, times 2.  I think it’s because young-ish middle class white guys like me are back. And I don’t know about you, but I’ve had enough dildocracy in the last 6 years than I’ll need for the rest of my life. Yeah, you can be edgy and eschew voting and party politics because your special snowflake ideology doesn’t allow for it. I’m not going to do that again. That got me some Obamacare. That got me ISIS. That got me open borders for Ebola.

I find it hard to believe that we have to argue with rightists of any stripe, be it Alt, Trad, WN, Brony or mainstream that they need to be voting. It has been said, (perhaps at the Daily Stormer?) that Libertarianism is a catch-basin trap for angry white males, that it exists to keep them venting at each other and politically inactive. Why, if you’re so into muh markets and you think that voting is violence, you won’t be voting, will you?  So, if you’re like me, and you’ve gone through the Libertarian wringer and come out fash on the other side, don’t keep yourself effectively inactive in another trap for angry white males who would oppose poopdick marriage and single payer healthcare.  You’re mentally out of the trip, but still physically in it, you see. So.

If enough of us come back form the edge on a Tuesday every other November from here on out, we can put a stop to this. Even if the next nominee is Lindsey Cuckburg Graham.

Staying home is voting Democrat, no matter what your edgelord reasons are for doing so.

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