You're Ebola Because You're Free

While Kaci Hickox is busy lawyering up and filing a lawsuit for presumably at least a million in pain and suffering from her unscheduled visit to Dachau – a primitive isolation ward set up at a local hospital, the DoD announced today that 11 soldiers returning from Liberia after being relieved by the 101st Airborne are going to be kept in isolation in Italy until they’ve waited out the incubation period. The next 100 to return are expected to be kept in isolation as well. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t want to spend any more time than necessary in New Jersey, either but difference in these two examples are like night and day, and this is why we need feminism.

Kept in isolation
Met by Carabinieri in full hazmat suits
Just spent 90+ days in field works and tents in Africa
101st Airborne Division taking over
“You need our support demonstrated with action not words, and action is exactly what we are going to provide,” – Maj. Gen. Volesky of the 101st Airborne
25 bed field hospital up and running w/in 2 weeks

No essays
No “poor me”
No “need muh bed”
No “are their rights being violated?”
No lawsuits
No media circus
No social justice white knights

In other words: Women are equal to men in every way and should be treated exactly the same, but given special individual praise for doing the job they volunteered for; and additional latitude for rent-seeking and emotional breakdowns over being quarantined for working with an infectious disease that kills 50% of it’s victims via the “digesting your insides while you’re alive” method.

You can choose between this guy and ebola, it's kinda the same in the end.
You can choose between this guy and ebola, it’s kinda the same in the end.
After weeks of complaining about inadequate screening, biocontainment and protective measure for nurses, the second someone tries to implement those things social justice warriors and rent seekers start screaming about muh freedom and muh warm bed. I mean, tax anyone that makes more than me at 99% but don’t isolate me because there’s a possibility I may have an infectious disease with a 60% fatality rate, that’s un-American.

As for blaming Christie, I’ve spoken with our crack team of political historians about his ability to organize a quarantine absent professional help from the Ebola experts at the WHO, CDC and USAMRIID and determined “no fucking duh”. Of course Christie is going to go about the quarantines ham-fistedly and fuck it up. He doesn’t really give off the impression of a high-functioning, hands-on kind of guy who makes good leadership calls. If you’re not going to call the experts, please, for the love of god don’t leave crisis management up to politicians. I’d rather my dog make my health choices and her crisis management plans usually consist of trying to eat small animals that wander too close to her mouth and farting generously if you give her leftover people food. Actually, that’s pretty much all her plans ever. Just like Christie.

Fat jokes never get old
Fat jokes never get old
What should have reasonably been done in the first place- 21-day monitoring for any health care workers who’d come into contact with an ebola patient, BSL-trained hospital-only for confirmed cases- still isn’t even being considered, even by the CDC, because of public panic fears. Honestly, they’re probably afraid of speaking up or taking action for fear of being called “racist” – like most everyone these days. But for once, this really isn’t about race, color, creed, religion or Blue Team vs Red Team affiliation. It’s a simple freedom vs public safety issue. Infectious agents aren’t made of the Force, they don’t magically penetrate organized biocontainment efforts because they’re strong with the Dark Side. If you do some seemingly draconian things with moral implications you stop the spread of the virus 100% of the time. Unless we want viral hemorrhagic fever ripping through our health care workers we have to treat people kinda mean.

Yes, I realize that’s not very freedom-loving of me. Yes, I realize mistakes are going to be made that severely restrict someone’s natural rights. Yes, I realize I’m asking for the government to solve a problem the market would have obviously already invented a solution for. I’m sure someone could even Alex Jones me a good reason for why any quarantine at all is FEMA-camp level shit. Yes, I realize people are over-reacting a little bit about response efforts because the flu kills loads more people every year. So do guns and cars and auto-erotic asphyxiation. But here’s the thing. Those are different and the levels of response are different. How do I know they’re different? Let’s say I have a syringe full of H1N1, a particularly nasty flu variant, and a syringe full of Nurse Mayinga’s blood- the second (or third we’re not sure) Ebola Zaire victim in a very nasty Ebola outbreak. You get to pick which one you get injected with.

Oh, now the implications aren't so subtle, are they? Thought so.
Oh, now the implications aren’t so subtle, are they? Thought so.
The fact is that we can fix this real easy and fuck it up real easy and the only way to do it right is to make a hard choice, deal with the consequences and make up for our mistakes as best we can. Pussyfooting our way through it, looking for the personal glory and validation for doing our jobs and frantically justifying inaction to avoid the name-calling that comes with action isn’t going to make anything better. Desperate times call for desperate measures. There are diseases out there waiting for us that make Ebola look about as infectious as nearsightedness. The fact that we’re having this “muh freedom” conversation over a disease that melts your guts and makes you shit rivers of blood before you crash and they hose your room out with bleach like a monkey cage makes me wonder if we’re going to be able to muster the Wille zur Macht to handle Super-Spanish-H1N1-SARS-Encephalitis or whatever The Big One turns out to be.

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Duke Godwin is the ghost of an accountant who wrote a check for the Reichskanzlei's utility bill in 1931 and was executed by Mossad at the age of 96 for aiding the Nazi's
Hell, Michigan