On Saturday, August 9th, promising young black activist Michael Brown was ruthlessly assassinated by a white supremacist Ferguson policeman as the officer drove to his monthly Klan rally. According to reports, Brown was sitting on a park bench reading Michael Foucault’s “Discipline and Punish” to a group of street orphans when the cop parked alongside the curb, shouted “Niggers ain’t supposed to be readin’ boy!” and fatally shot Brown as he vainly attempted to shield himself from the deadly hail of gunfire behind his Noam Chomsky filled bookbag. As the youth lay gasping for breath, his last words were “Weep not for me, but for the future of our people.”
The black community of Ferguson, long held captive under the boot-heels of the all white Ku Klux Law Enforcement Brigade, finally rallied to action, ousted the vile racists, and took back their city. The police chief was revealed to be a Grand Dragon on national television, and was killed by a single shot from actor Jamie Foxx’s .45 caliber handgun while attempting to escape to his private helicopter pad with a black female hostage.Just kidding, this is only the outlandish fantasy most bourgeois white liberals imagine every time the most recent “Dindu Nuffin” shooting and resultant chimpout is brought up. Before the latest black corpse even hits the ground the liberal narrative machine starts cranking out copies of the same tropes that we saw posted to the ideological newsstands last week, the week before that, and pretty much every week stretching back several years. At this point you can predict exactly what premises are going to be repeated as Gospel Truth before even clicking away to your first Google search. First of all, this shooting is definitely an opportunity to have a conversation about systemic racism in the criminal justice system. Secondly, this kind of rioting in response to the shooting is a revolutionary strike against racist oppression in America. Thirdly, let’s be honest and deal with the fact that we white people have internalized racism and thus can never truly understand the standpoint of socially aware urban individuals on racial issues.
Needless to say, it is of no importance whatsoever if poor lil’ Michael Brown was shot by an actual racist cop, was shot unjustifiably, or in fact was guilty of something requiring a deadly response by a police officer. The point here is to spin out one of those eternally popular narratives that white folk LOVE to hear repeated ad nauseam about oppression, injustice, and vengeance. There is no need to have actually been there or understand anything about what transpired on that Saturday in August; a black eighteen year old child was shot by a WHITE cop, we really don’t need to go any further than that. We certainly DON’T need to be drawing any attention to how this vibrant youth might have portrayed himself or talk about any videos of his alleged misdeeds on that day lest someone suspect there might be more to this story.Even the large scale chimp-out, which certain observers would be tempted to call “an orgy of looting and random violence” is seen through the rose tinted lens of liberals as some kind of avant-garde political demonstration, despite the fact that the vibrant youths shown “demonstrating” appear to be opportunistically stealing shit. Naturally some leftists have hurriedly projected their various batshit insane theories about how looting itself is also a form of revolutionary opposition to systemic injustice onto the scene,* but the rest of us know they’re just anthropomorphizing stupid Negroid behavior.* One of the greatest conceits of white progressives is to fancy group behaviors of this sort as a form of necessary political protest since they themselves could never imagine committing such wanton violence without a truly noble cause justifying it. Hell, at worst, all the most passionate white person is ever going to do in a political demonstration is wave around a stupid sign for an hour and perhaps get stoned in a giant drum circle. To genteel white folk, looting and rioting is such an alien concept they can’t help but ascribe all sorts of bizarre explanations to the phenomena.Of course as another racially vibrant individual named Thomas Sowell would observe, relatively mundane explanations for phenomena are discarded in favor of the more exciting and politically motivated theories. This wasn’t just a likely justified shooting of a violent robbery suspect that resulted in an outbreak of premature rash niggerviolence, no,* this was some sort of manifestation of a vast systemic problem with race relations in America that sparked off an entirely justified “political demonstration” by young street scholars fighting the evils of white supremacist heteropatriarchial capitalist oppression.* And if you believe that, perhaps you too spend entirely too much time reading George RR Martin novels and browsing The Huffington Post. Here’s my own submission for a fantasy inspired explanation of the recent chimp-out: