You Killed The Patriarchy And All You Got Was His Stained T-Shirt

Hatefact: Women are unhappier now than in 1950.

Hatefact: Women are fatter now than in 1950.

Hatefact: More women think marriage is important to happiness than in 1990.

Hatefact: Women have more sex partners than ever.

Hatefact: A woman can always bang a hotter man than she can marry.

Hatefact: Cougars are a myth.

The plan of feminism was so simple. First, destroy marriage. Second, get free stuff. Third, stay twenty-five for the rest of your life.

Why didn’t it work?


Women crave social status, and they thought feminism would get it for them. They looked at all the ways men obtain status, cried, and demanded the (male-run) government hand those things to them, too. Except there’s a teeny-tiny little problem. The reason that being a good athlete, a rich doctor, a Senator, or a singer in a popular local band gives a man social status is those things make women want to bang him. Social status can be defined as how badly the opposite sex wants to bang you. All the girls wanted to bang Barack Obama, which is why he got elected twice.

Men don’t get turned on by fat wallets or championship trophies, which is why WNBA players aren’t high status. The WNBA still exists, right?

For a woman, social status comes from the highest quality man she can convince to commit resources to her. Sluts don’t have high status because a lock that opens for every key has no value. A woman who’s married a rich, well-mannered, handsome guy has high status, though. If a girl can convince a guy with a key that opens every lock to not go looking for treasure in other chests, she’s got to be really something.

Monogamous marriage raises the average woman’s status over time, because without it, she just rotates in and out of different men’s harems, losing rank in them with every new laugh line and eye crinkle. With marriage 1.0—the kind you couldn’t end by clicking your heels three times—the woman secured the commitment of a man for life. She sacrificed being able to bang the bad boy with the motorcycle at age 22 for being able to be seen in public with a man instead of a shopping cart full of cat food at age 52. It was a good deal for both sexes. Men got laid without having to be bull alphas, and women got to continue to enjoy men’s attention long after their ovaries dried out.

Yeah, go ahead, cry about “lookism” and “ageism.” No one cares. Our bright, noble, polyamorous future isn’t going to be one of equalitarians equally banging everyone equally with equal time. Even a homosexual SJW can’t get laid if he’s too fat, too whiny, and wears a stupid little tiara all the time. Our free-loving destiny is 20% of the men having 80% of the women, 50% of the men basically figuring out by age 30 that they have no reason to work hard (good luck taxing guys who don’t make anything), and 70% of the women dying alone and poor

You should have married a decent man before your boobs started sagging.

[![I need feminism because I want to die alone.](](
I need feminism because I want to die alone.
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Hateful Heretic is a jerk.