The Hilarity of Postmodernism: Some Fat Chick In A Bikini


So a pudgy white woman has found a way to validate her fragile ego and possibly sell a few of her stupid sex stories.  Cue feels and empty “conversations” about society that do nothing for anybody, like, ever.  Leave it to a generation of overfed English degrees to confuse empowerment with advertisement.

However, before we get around to reflecting on Yahoo and Jenny’s dissonance and alienation, I must first point out two hilarious things that stick out for me.

First is Jenny blaming her shoddy physique on “fibromyalgia.”  If my readers know anyone who works in a pharmacy, you are encouraged to ask them about the over and mis-diagnosed nature of this condition.  Some people in the field actually go so far as to believe fibro is an entirely made-up condition.  In Jenny’s case, I’m betting the difference between Münchausen and fibro is a liberal arts education and a general practitioner.

The second humorous thing is better described with a screencap.


"From hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. Ye damned whale."
“From hell’s heart I stab at thee; for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee. Ye damned whale.”
> “No one I [challenged] had the audacity to tell me directly that I shouldn’t wear a bikini because my fatness would offend their eyes,” Trout writes. “Not one person would admit that they didn’t want me to wear a bikini because of their aesthetic preference — a preference that is shaped by our cultural perceptions of what is and isn’t beautiful.”

LOL, the “thinocracy” is not a matter of audacity.  What Jenny believes she is “challenging” isn’t something that requires bravery or daring.  Man doesn’t boldly not go for seconds at the Golden Corral.   Telling a woman she is a tad too portly for an outfit does not equal charging German positions on Normandy beach.

While certainly not ascetically pleasing in any way, I am at a loss to think of an instance where someone actually felt “insulted,” scorned or disrespected by the simple presence of a fat chick.  It would be hard indeed to live in this country if one felt offended by pudge.

The Yahoo article concludes that we need an honest discussion about women’s bodies, which is of course impossible when you are dealing with a demographic that is unwilling to honestly discuss, well, anything.

empowermentNo one who shared Jenny’s story will honestly admit that her free willy act was a stupid and pointless endeavor.  None of the keyboard activists out there will honestly consider that society’s preference for women who can control their body is a preference that Jenny will not challenge by parading about in a two piece.  Honesty is uncomfortable, and the uncomfortable truth here is that people who have an existential crisis over a fucking two piece will never offer an answer for anything, ever.  Rather, they seem more interested in peddling porn.

To be even more bluntly honest is to admit that* Jenny knows this to begin with*.  If Jenny truly sought to go against the grain she wouldn’t be whoring her fat ass for facebook shares to begin with.

This amounts to nothing more than projection, overindulgent behavior for overindulged people.  We shouldn’t expect anything else from a woman who confuses “fibromyalgia” (lol) and cries for attention with self-actualization.  We shouldn’t expect anything else from a demographic that believes that facebook shares while quipping* “so much, this.”* is anything even vaguely resembling social change or human progress.

They say they want to discuss society, but they’re really playing with dolls.  Agency is like, hard and stuff.

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Bulbasaur is a blue collar worker and part-time polemicist from the Southern U.S.