The Corn Syrup Melting Pot

It seems that some jimjams have been flimflammed and a media kerfuffle has arisen over a rather banal and saccharine Dildo Super Bowl advertisement put out by the Coca-Cola corporation. The ad depicts various individuals and groups of endearing, non-threatening, SWPL-approved minorities signing “America the Beautiful” in various global (non-English) languages.

At first glance one that has trained his mind in the art of spotting the progressive narrative cannot help but feel a minor trembling in the ol’ Johnathans. On second glance one wonders why one is glancing at this cloying, hackneyed rubbish a second time. Whether the average Dildo Super Bowl viewer was able to pick up on the not-so subtle cultural Marxist messaging here, or whether his mind was already too numb and broken from the unrelenting dildo bludgeoning it had been receiving all evening, I can’t say. I can’t read minds, nor can I relate to the mindset of a Dildo Super Bowl viewer.

Some people did notice though, and the ad managed to trigger a response from some twitter “racists” (conservatives) and minor GOP political figures. Upon seeing this the spontaneous left-wing shame machine, powered by the twin cylinders of sanctimonious moral outrage and snide self-aggrandizement, shifted into high gear in order to call out these primitive-minded bigots across social media.

Notice that the immediate and overwhelming response from the left was far out of proportion to any actual conservative objections that were raised. Considering that some Super Bowl ads had already been called out as racist before the sporting contest even aired, there is no doubt that they were lying in wait for the first big dumb conservative to flap his big dumb lips so they could pounce. The dialectic is on auto-pilot at this point. Progressives know the script so well that all they need do is sit, iphone in hand, palms sweating, thumbs quivering, just waiting to deliver their lines as soon as they receive the necessary media cue.

GOP political hack Alan West provided one such cue with these words on his blog:

“I am quite sure there may be some who appreciated the commercial, but Coca Cola missed the mark in my opinion. If we cannot be proud enough as a country to sing ‘American the Beautiful’ in English in a commercial during the Super Bowl, by a company as American as they come — doggone we are on the road to perdition. This was a truly disturbing commercial for me, what say you?”

The left’s narrative in response to this rather mild sentiment has been one of total annihilation. Why would anyone ever care about large groups of people coming here from foreign cultures with foreign traditions and languages? America has no culture. America has no tradition. America has no language. America has no religion. America has no founding principles. America has no people. To even think that such things exist or would be desirable is naive and parochial at best, but more likely evil and racist. This is a nation of immigrants. There is no American ethnic stock, just different tribes that happen to live near each other all doing their own thing. There is nothing to preserve here. The settlers and colonists were greedy terrorists hellbent on nothing but rape, pillage and genocide. Pride? Pride is for men that like penises in their butts and obese women that cannot make emotional connections to other human beings, not for your country.

Despite their hatred for big business and capitalism the progressives have eagerly rushed to the defense of an evil multinational corporation, revealing the emptiness of their multicultural ideal. It’s not really about people, it’s about media representation. It’s about sad music and emotional imagery. Multicultural America is a sombrero, a yarmulke, a hijab and a bottle of corn syrup.

It is tempting to jump into the fray on behalf of the conservatives here. At least they are trying to preserve something. At least they are capable of feeling something more than the immediate emotional gratification derived from condemning strangers over social media. At least they want something more from life than stimulation of the mouth and anus. At least they love America. At least they watch the Super Bowl to see the game and not just the commercials goddammit!

At least this is still a democracy… At least we may win the next election…

I am quite sure there may be some who appreciated his blog post, but Alan West missed the mark in my opinion. I can’t bring myself to blame Coca-Cola here. It’s not as if this sort of “one world” style marketing is new to them. If America can actually be undermined by their vapid advertising, then what the hell is America in the first place? If we actually think America is a thing worth preserving, we are going to have to forge a common bond more meaningful than an empty spectacle of consumerism and high time preference behavior. We are going to have to look to institutions other than an international corporation that manufactures soft drinks. (Church maybe?) If this is the America we are seeking to preserve, then we have already lost. The postmodern narrative of annihilation has already taken deep root and we may as well just open the borders and let the corn syrup melting pot boil away everything that has been built over the last 450 years.

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Hey bro, that's racist.